Drunken Theories

Over the years, my various best friends and I have spent many (inebriated) nights discussing ‘deep’ stuff… existentialism, Mayan history, men (haha), Functional dichotomy of neutral and acidic sphingomyelinases in tumour necrosis factor signalling – OK, I just kind of threw the last one in to see if you were really paying attention ;) (If you’re more interested in reading that though, it’s available on Science Direct: Cell, Volume 78, Issue 6, 23 September 1994, Pages 1005-1015)

Anyway, moving on… although we tend to discuss the ‘serious’ topics mostly when we are more-than-just-a-little tipsy, there have been plenty of times when we’ve just talked about silly stuff and spent hours laughing/giggling over apparently nothing. But my favourite moments from these (seemingly) inconsequential conversations are the times when people come up with quirky theories … some of them funny, some ridiculously random… but all worthy of a blog post!

So here goes:

Survival of the fittest: The real reason why babies are so cute

Now most people find babies cute, right? My friend Ping came up with an excellent theory as to why. Her theory’s simple: if babies were ugly no one would clean their poop. Genius! Babies can’t talk. Puke & poop at every possible opportunity. Cry. And are a gigantic drain on your finances. Why would anyone in their right mind even want one?!? Because they’re effing cute, that’s why! Clever little snots. If you think N Korea is planning world domination, you’re wrong. It’s them babies.

Faghag’s way outta marriage (sorta)

This one’s a gem (thanks S!). If you’re a woman in her 20s, chances are everyone’s been talking about getting you married. Not ready for commitment? Don’t want to be tied down to one guy for the rest of your life? Marry your best guy friend – you know, the one who’s gay! He doesn’t have to come out to his (ever so judgemental) family. You don’t have to ‘settle’ for some random, boring investment banker your parents pick out for you. Win-win. You’re welcome.

Quest for a ‘Soul Mate’

On a slightly more serious note: How often have we talked about soul mates and finding “The One”? Too many times to count. According to my close friend V, instead of looking for a best friend, a lover, someone on the same intellectual level, someone you can talk to anytime, someone to share your troubles, etc. in ONE single person, we can have them [the qualities] in two or three people. So instead of finding one person who checks of all the boxes on your perfect-guy list, find someone who checks the really important ones. This works smashingly if both the guy and girl give each other enough time to build friendships outside the relationship.

I could give you a few more… but let’s not make the first post too long, eh?

Hasta Mañana!


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